The search narrows
“To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” – Bertrand Russell
One day, tired of being in a state of confusion, I remember walking up to my computer determined to make a decision. I asked Life to show me the way, a clear unmistakable lead. I started browsing the internet aimlessly and I came across an article. I don’t remember much of what it was all about but a sentence caught my eye – “Make your decisions based on love, not on fear”. It hit me like a lightning flash.
At that moment, that was all that I needed. I realized how ridiculous my fears were and how silly I was being. I decided to quit.
Then I went back to check who the author of the article was. It was a Life Coach. Coaching? How come I forgot all about it! Three years earlier, I had stumbled upon coaching and I was very much interested in it. My dad’s death made me forget all about it. But it re-entered my life again, and this time I grabbed it with both my hands.
I enrolled into one of the top coaching programs in the US. What I liked about coaching was its emphasis in integrating the spirit, soul, mind and body and empowering individuals to connect to their inner wisdom. Because deep inside us, we know exactly who we are and what we want to do and what we want in life.
A career in coaching also afforded the flexibility I was looking for – in terms of flexi-hours and taking time off when the kids came. But the kids weren’t showing up. I miscarried twins and was heartbroken. The biological clock was fast ticking away…
“All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The day came when I had to make another difficult choice. I was going to put my coaching practice on the backburner. I practiced some of the coaching and healing techniques I learned to detoxify my mind and body of stress and unwanted energies – connecting to body wisdom, affirmations, meditation, organic and whole foods+grains based diet, weeding negative thoughts, etc. And the rest I entrusted to Mother Nature!
Fast forward to today
“I am willing to put myself through anything; temporary pain or discomfort means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will take me to a new level. I am interested in the unknown, and the only path to the unknown is through breaking barriers, an often painful process.” ~—Diane Nyad
I am the proud mama of two sons – the older one is 3.5 yrs old and the younger one is 4 months old. Yes, motherhood has been a joy but it has been equally crazy, frustrating, maddening and exasperating at times! Have no illusions about that! It was one thing baby-sitting one’s nieces and nephews and another thing raising your kids 24×7. Never thought parenting would be such a tough and demanding job, I am learning new lessons all the time! It makes me appreciate my parents even more and I salute all moms and dads with renewed respect. You folks are doing a tremendous job!
In my spare time, I am busy devouring material and doing my own research (my own mini-phds) in areas that fascinate me – coaching, healing, ancient wisdom, spirituality, metaphysics, self-help, universal laws and the like. Synthesizing wisdom and science and simplifying it for everyday life is what inspires me and fulfills me and makes me come alive. Coaching has also helped me discover my love for writing.
I asked for strength. Life gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom. Life gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity. Life gave me brawn and brain to work.
I asked for courage. Life gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for patience. Life placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.
I asked for love. Life gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favors. Life gave me opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted. I received everything I needed.
When I look back at my own life, I know how apt the above lines are. I value my IIT experience even more in retrospect. It probably wasn’t what I wanted at that but the underdog experience was certainly what I needed to be where I am today. It’s not the easier parts of life that I remember and cherish but the moments and times when I had to stretch myself beyond what I believed I was capable of, when I tapped into an inner courage I never thought existed, when I had to wait for what seemed an eternity for things to happen and every second was worth waiting for at the end…
I have faced my own share of difficult people and difficult situations and overcoming them has given me confidence and strength. Every problem I have faced, professional or personal, has made me that much stronger, wiser, kinder and more compassionate of my fellow human beings.
Life has helped me grow, evolve and be a better human being and that I consider the greatest favor life has bestowed upon me… and I can assure you there’s plenty more for me to learn and grow!
My two penny worth
Don’t be hasty to judge yourself or your life. Wait until you are at least seventy and eighty. Then reflect back on your life and ask yourself if you had it all? If you did it all? And I betcha, you are gonna say YES!
“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” ~Tom Bodett
Life is your greatest teacher. The sole purpose of life is to help you grow, evolve and be a better human being. Pay attention to its messages. Never underestimate or overlook what life has in store for you! Never! Most often opportunities come disguised as problems and difficulties! Every person, relationship, situation, event in your life is happening for a reason! All your (professional or personal) life lessons are, ultimately, lessons in love, forgiveness, compassion, harmony, peace, joy, giving and service to life around you.
Live your purpose. Whether you believe it or not, each one of you has a purpose in life. You are here to make a difference in your own unique and special way. Your purpose is the reason why you exist on this planet. It’s ok if you don’t know your purpose yet. Put 100% into whatever you are doing right now and let your purpose unfold before you at the right time and place.
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~Albert Einstein
Listen to your heart. Seek inner guidance. Your inner wisdom is always ready to help you and guide you. Ask and you will get your answers. When in confusion and doubt or when you have to make a hard choice or whenever you need help, just ask. Ask for a clear, unmistakable lead and you will get it. Be open and receptive to find your answer through unexpected sources and channels – books, movies, music, songs, friends, family, strangers, strong hunches, etc – and you will know in your heart that’s meant for you. It will stare at your face and you won’t be able to ignore it.
Make your own choices. End of the day there is no right or wrong choice and there is no one choice that works for all. No two lives are the same. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider advice or opinions of family or friends. It means that once you have made a choice, take responsibility for your choice. Don’t blame anyone for it – including yourself. Just go make another choice if you are unhappy with your current choice.
Travel light. Make your choices and decisions but if you think you have made a mistake – that’s ok! That’s life’s way of teaching us to be more compassionate towards self and others. Don’t beat yourself up, load yourself with tons of guilt/regret/resentment/blame etc. Carry the lessons with you but don’t lug the emotional baggage around.
Respect and love yourself. Last but not least, love yourself and respect yourself “because you’re worth it”. This is not about being vain, arrogant, self-centered and boastful. This is recognizing your true self. As Steven Covey said “We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.” There’s a divine spark in each of you and you are here on this planet to realize your infinite potential. So, rise and shine forth in all your glory!